3 Ways to Distinguish a Feminist From a Misandrist
Today, some may have noticed a growing rift between men and women. Others believe that it is just an evolutionary process of equal and/or equitable coexistence rather than a revolution to overthrow the dominant global presence of men. Men who many express have social occupations giving them too much influence over the direction society develops. These ideas and more have created a frenzy of emotions and controversy.
In America, women from 19th centuries Elizabeth Cady Stanton, to 20th century Alice Paul and since, there has been feminist advocacy for sociopolitical and socioeconomical equality among the sexes. For decades in this country, women have had to endure inequality while still maintaining a family. The history of it all is so complex, it would probably take a 60 minute seminar to show how the socio economic hierarchy of this and other similar nations of cultural diversity, have political systems in place to maintain a status quo. Therefore, depending on your group and or social status the privileges may vary. For any group that is marginalized, it becomes inevitable that the circumstances will spawn various social, emotional and psychological reactions; unfortunately, one of those is anger. At this time in history, the anger directed at men who legislate negative socio political and/or socio economic policies, may be getting misconstrued by individuals indirectly impacted by them.
Although this is such a broad topic, in this post we are going to explore just 3 ways to distinguish a feminist from a misandrist.
1: Who’s to blame?
Feminist – Let’s start with the easiest one first. The woman who makes no excuses and tells it like it is. She might even come from a single parent female lead household but she doesn’t seek to blame all men directly or indirectly for the injustices of society; only those who are responsible. She knows the difference and also understands, will work with and appreciates good men as much as she disapproves of those men who continue to use status quo policies to control the lives of the women they undermine.
Misandrist – Feels that men are the cause for women’s pain and suffering in the world. She may be the victim of a broken household or relationships that have gone awry and use today’s political stance against male predators to seek revenge against them by any means necessary. They tend to be self absorbed narcissists and very hard to reason with especially when it comes to having a more cooperative attitude to work constructively with men.
2:What about pro life?
Feminist – Understands that to create a life naturally takes to people of opposite sex. While love and marriage may be the best way for some to proceed with this potentially life long bond, it is not is not guaranteed nor should it be an obligation. They feel the results of their choice of what is done with their body, whether it should result in pregnancy or not, should fall in the hands of the woman. She reasons that a woman knows her body more than anyone outside of themselves and therefore has the right to choose what she does with it.
Misandrist – perspective may be based on if she chooses to be with a man or not. Wherein the latter is more likely, she would be prone to blaming the man for an unwanted pregnancy of her own or an associate. She will say that men think with their dicks and only want a hole to put it in. She will take little responsibility for the pregnancy and blame the man for being reckless and inconsiderate. Her judgement might be right about the man, but she falls short of blaming herself for choosing to have sex with him. She’d rather say he was a trickster and made her do it in addition to seeking out others who feel the same. If she is familiar with the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, she might be inclined to think the men behind the legislation are more proof of her assessment of them as a whole.
3:Women and nature synonymous?
Feminist – wants men to acknowledge that their perceptions regarding the nature of earth are a reflection of the male attitudes toward the nature of women. They acknowledge that the disregard for a woman’s natural significance is not only foolhardy, it is destructive toward the development of progressive societies. They know that the female’s intuition is needed to make stronger and more just familial ideals that in turn create strong families and nations. They understand the importance of working together with ecologists, men as well as women, to convey knowledge to those who’d listen and understand the relationship both sexes, but women in particular, have with the planet as it pertains to the natural order of things.
Misandrist – doesn’t concern themselves with the ideas of men as it pertains to their view regarding the significance of women to the earth. They say that women, via sisterhood, have been raising families without men since the dawn of civilization. They feel that men are all a part of a patriarchy that has been designed to attack the integrity of womanhood and would rather see men in all places of authority replaced by qualified women who they believe would first and foremost consider the needs of women over all else. They see themselves as the great equalizer capable of establishing balance. Henceforth, based on the historical legacy of authority, they feel that a man wouldn’t understand their plight as women and to work with them is a waste of time.
So how do we heal the wounded relationships between men and women today?
Compassion and education
For centuries women have had to fight for the right to be treated as equals. Why would there be a need to fight for this? Isn’t it everyone’s right to have a voice? Who is really to blame for the injustices that women have faced throughout history? The latter may vary depending on the geography, era, and the cultural variations of certain nations of people. However, can a person regardless of their sex be considered free without sociopolitical or socioeconomic opportunity? To deny a person this right leads to anger. History is proof of this.
Throughout time, wars have been waged in the name of freedom, much like the American and French Revolutionary Wars. Wars wherein women played a very significant but seldom unspoken roles as spies, nurses and on many occasions advisors to politicians involved in the political decisions made throughout the conflicts. Perhaps the elements of those men of yesteryear have trickled down into their female descendants, who have the nature to fight for their true freedom, justice and equality.
The line identifying the feminist and the misandrist is obscured because many of the struggles the feminist addresses are parallel to the misandrist. For example, both see the man as the problem due to his misogynistic ways and for the most part they’re not mistaken. Perhaps the perceptions of a misandrist are influenced by their negative personal experiences with men. Abuse, or just the absence of men in their lives may also have an affect on their perceptions of men. However, this is not the experience all women have had. In fact, there are many Daddy’s girls out there who have never experienced feeling left out, insignificant or irrelevant. Therefore, to directly or indirectly suggest that the legacy of socio economic and socio political inequality toward women in this nation and abroad is the blame of all men is unjust and may be a part of a much deeper psychological issue that may have rooted itself in the various traumatic experiences of all members of our society. This may especially pertain to women, notwithstanding the impact unjust policies have had on the families like the African descendants of slaves, as well as other minorities impacted by governmental systems established via imperialism. While it is important for all men, regardless of their sexual identity to support the plight of feminist, there needs to be more support coming for the heterosexual population who find themselves conditioned by patriarchal ideals and/or perceptions.
In conclusion, it’s important to understand the effects the nuances of a complex and often unjust society has on its citizens. It has caused women to react differently in effort to cut out a place for themselves to be in this world that has historically mistreated them. Some women may be influenced by the indirect effects of socio-economic injustice, racism or poverty and may be prone to display misandrist behavior, while others have a political agenda that is more inclusive of all sexes, understanding the significance of balance with both men and women working together. A social hierarchy like the one we are all a part of is patriarchal in nature, but it was built from the ideas of men who have a long legacy of cultural beliefs that have marginalized women who give birth to and raise sons, politicians, doctors, teachers, artists, visionaries, lawyers etc. Women who understand the importance of family and that balance starts in the home.
In America, the various experiences of imperialism have shaped the society as it is, strategically categorizing groups of people according to status quo ideologies that have been in place since this country’s founding. It has naturally influenced the minds and hearts of women to fight against the oppressive weight of traditionalism that primarily keeps the European male ranked at the top socio-politically and economically. It is crucial that we learn from the lessons of the past, look inward to find solutions that help us establish balance between the sexes, remembering that we are all sentient beings in these bodies. While our physical may distinguish whether we are male or female sexually, there is no plausible way to deny the simple fact that emotions is something that drives thought. If thoughts are vindictive or destructive they result in nothing constructive in the end. There are two quotes that come to mind said by author Daniel Goleman that really resonated with me. “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” and that “True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it.” So let us heal. Let us find a way to mend the wounds by accepting responsibility together and by working collectively.